Slow Internet

“Jen had it and she was so pissed off cuz it was slower than cat shit.” -Grandma Marcellus

Talking about dial-up internet.

Dog Rug?

“It looks all beach themed then you get to that dog rug. What is that?” -Me

Looking through a home decorating book.

Birthday Picture

“Oh yeah your birthday is on the 12th. What do you want for your birthday? A picture of me? -Jessica

Adopted Asian Babies

“I wonder what little Asian babies think when they grow up and realize they look nothing like their family. They wonder why they have slanted eyes and their hair’s all black when their adopted family is full of blondes.” -Jessica

Talking about adoption.

Possum Tail

“I wish I had a tail like that. Just have a branch in your room and hang from your tail and watch tv.” -Jessica

Talking about a picture she took of a taxidermic possum.

Already Ate a Banana

“You already ate, didn’t ya?” -Brandon

“A banana.” -Me

“So you’re full?” -Brandon

Pops Like a Bitch

“You know it pops like a bitch.” -Grandma Marcellus

Talking about cooking sauerkraut.

Squeeze a Mother

“I can’t even squeeze that mother anymore.” -Grandma Marcellus

Talking about playing an accordion.

Snugglepuss

“Back seat and snugglepuss. Wrap it like it’s fuzzytown.” -Brandon

Singing some crazy song he just came up with.

Harvesting Crops

“That thing was running when I left.” -Jerry

“She’s harvesting her crops.” -Jessica

Talking about Annette’s laptop being left open for Farmville.